Weird Library-Science #9 now available!

After a successful launch at Grid Zine Fest in Salt Lake City issue #9 has been added to our Big Cartel store!

It features four stories by Matthew:

• The Intergalactic Book Smugglers
• The Dinobrarian Roars Again
• Strife in the Stacks!
• Portrait of a Young Librarian

Plus numerous other features!

We've also updated the Issues page with a list of the libraries that seem to have copies in their collections.

Two-Fisted Library Studies for sale in Quimby's in Chicago.

Our table at Grid Zine Fest.

If you're interested in submitting, please email twofistedstories@gmail.com. Currently submissions are only open to women to create parity in those who are published.

Deadline for Weird Library Science extended to January 31st!

There's still time to submit to Weird Library-Science (issue #9 of Two-Fisted Library Stories)!

For more information on submissions you can check out this blog post or send an email to twofistedstories@gmail.com. (Though really, pretty much any submission will probably be good!)

The International Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies is available now!

Yes! It's true! The new issue of your best (and only) source for hard-hitting library research is now available! You can purchase it (and every other issue of Two-Fisted Library Stories) from our Big Cartel store.

What's inside? Well, here's the table of contents!

You can find the data related to "An Analysis of Funko Pop Ownership Among Library Workers" here. It contains responses from 382 people, and the data about age and work place setup might actually be of use to real research.

And don't forget! The deadline for the next issue (Weird Library Science) is December 31st!

Here's a photo from when PHX Zine Fest, the first time Two-Fisted Studies was available!

The cover for the Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies

Here's the Cover to Two-Fisted Library Stories #8: The Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies!

Editors: Dr. Dragomir Arson and Dr. Nzinga Ransom
The editors have, at one time or another, won the World Heavyweight Library Championship, the Mixed Tag Team Library Championship, the Atomic Library Association Championship, and the Theresa Elmendorf Memorial Library Battle Royale. They are willing to take on any Library Adversaries anytime and anywhere.

There's still over a month to submit! The deadline is September 1st. More info about submissions can be found here.

Big Cartel Store

Etsy changed how their store system worked, so we don't have a store there anymore. However, we now have a store on Big Cartel! We've simplified the products available and hopefully it makes sense. If you have any questions please email twofistedstories@gmail.com.

Foolish Earthlings! You will SUBMIT to Weird Library Science!

Foolish Earthlings! You will SUBMIT!

The fate of your very planet relies on you creating enough GLOW (Galactic Library Oriented Wisdom) Power to defeat the evil BEIGE (Book-Eating, Information-Grinding Entities).

How do you create GLOW Power? Using your TOWERING imagination you must create the most ACTION-PACKED stories, comics, drawings, photographs, recipes, knitting patterns, phony letters, fake news items, bogus advertisements, made-up issue blurbs, and whatever else you can think of as long as it is filled with THRILLS, EXCITEMENT, and LIBRARIES. Mad science, weird fantasy, occult horror, spicy mysteries, noirish romances, intense adventures, and whatever else.

Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. Write about a library that uses ALIEN TECHNOLOGY, a cataloguing system so obtuse that it drives those that try to use it INSANE, or a library worker who has to track down a Nazi zeppelin in order to get an OVERDUE BOOK. As long as your contribution is somewhat library focused and filled with the requisite GLOW Power it's fine!

So get out your typewriters, crayons, and drawing sticks (or whatever it is you Earthlings create with) and create something or the Earth you call home is DOOMED!

Weird Library Science is the 9th (!) issue of Two-Fisted Library Stories, an anthology zine featuring pulp-inspired fiction, comics, and art created by you (hopefully!) concerning libraries and library workers.

Submission Deadline: December 31st, 2017 January 31st, 2018

Publication: Spring, 2018

Send submissions to twofistedstories@gmail.com.

Call for Contributions: The Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies Vol. 8, No. 1

Call for Contributions

The Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies Vol. 8, No. 1:

A Special Issue on

“Visualizing the Information Professional Fight”

The Journal of Two-Fisted Library Studies is a formidable and indomitable journal that publishes the most POTENT articles, reviews, and research findings of interest to those working in the ROUGHEST and TOUGHEST libraries and archives in the world. Our intense editorial process ensures that only the most UNYIELDING and TENACIOUS authors will have their content reach the publication stage and become CONQUERORS OF SCHOLARLY COMMUNICATION.

Journal Sections

• Spurious Correlations and Other Graphs
• Really Useless Research
• Model Library Policies (fanciful to aggressive)
• Opinions (incorrect)
• Fight Reports
• Peer Reviews (reviews of awful people you work with)
• Pier Reviews (reviews of docks, jetties, and similar things that are somehow library related)
• Reviews of Other Stuff

Submission Deadline: September 1st, 2017
Publication: October 31st, 2017

Send submissions to twofistedstories@gmail.com.

• Bibliographies and citations are not necessary and will probably be cut for space
• Copyright will be decided through trial by combat
• Article Processing Charges are expected and encouraged
• Contributors receive up to one free copy of the issue in which their work appeared

Position on Predatory Publishers
We believe that only the strongest publishers can survive and that it is only natural that some publishers will prey upon others. We do not intend to be prey.

Position on Open Access Publishing
We fully support scholarly Openness, for which reason we allow anyone to purchase our publications. Our commitment to Openness extends to describing our editorial process, in excruciating detail and in print, including exactly what we think of our submitters, their writing style, ideas, and personal grooming. For a nominal fee, we will omit this information from the publication.

Editors: Dr. Dragomir Arson and Dr. Nzinga Ransom

The editors have, at one time or another, won the World Heavyweight Library Championship, the Mixed Tag Team Library Championship, the Atomic Library Association Championship, and the Theresa Elmendorf Memorial Library Battle Royale. They are willing to take on any Library Adversaries anytime and anywhere.

Read Two-Fisted Library Stories #6 Online

I've uploaded Two-Fisted Library Stories #6 to Issuu and you can read it there. It even (sorta) includes the trading card! Check it out!

In other news, due to new Etsy policies the store is closed. I'm looking into alternatives but it might take a while.

Two-Fisted Library Stories #6

Apparently I never put this cover online.

Two-Fisted Library Stories #6 now available!

Two-Fisted Library Stories #6 is now available! It features:

• Automagic Notice by Devin Lagasse
• How to Steal a Book in 1930s Chicago Part 3 by Matthew Murray
• Better Read Than Dead by Colleen Frakes
• The Libearian by Taylor Kenkel
• A back cover by Dana Putnam

Plus! Six-Gun Librarian comic strips, letters pages, an interview with the creators of The NEW Library Legion, and more! Plus every copy comes with a trading card!

You an buy it (and the other issues) on our Etsy store.

Thanks to everyone that came to the launch party, and especially those who won prizes in the costume contest!

The winners!

 

(Costume contest judges)

Spicy Library Stories Call for Submissions

Love! Romance! Adventure!

As mentioned in the newest episode of the Book Club for Masochists podcast our next publication (after Two-Fisted Library Stories #6) will be Spicy Library Stories!

The deadline is December 31st. Send submissions to twofistedstories@gmail.com.

What do we mean by "spicy"?

Well in the tradition of Spicy Zeppelin Stories and other titles we're looking for the best in library focused fiction that features not just the daring adventure tales we're so well known for, but is also a little bit risqué or saucy. This doesn't mean that you need to create full blown erotic tales (though we'll accept those too), but place just a little bit more emphasis on the...attractiveness of the featured characters. That means love, romance, and scantily dressed men, women, and people of other genders having their clothes ripped off.

We want tales full of forbidden love, seduction, star-crossed lovers, romantic tension, mysterious pasts, makeovers, love triangles, and purple prose.

We want bodice-ripping, paranormal events, time travel, historical settings, suspense, fantasy, BDSM, and everything else (maybe in one story!).

We want stories that involve lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, queer, and polyamorous characters. (And anything else we forgot.)

We want lascivious stories about tempters and temptresses, femmes and hommes fatales, dudes and dames in distress, bombshells, rakes, vamps, cads, seducers, vixens,  and everyone else.

Just remember that it has to feature library workers prominently in some way.

It can be as chaste or raunchy as you want, and if you'd really just rather not, you can still submit and we'll publish it in the next issue of Two-Fisted Library Stories!

If you're looking to contribute art for the cover or interior think of the classic "good girl" pin-up art, except that we want pin ups of people of all gender identities!

We're also totally happy to let people use pseudonyms, sobriquets, aliases, and noms de plume if you would prefer for your true identity to remain secret. Not even we need to know what your real name is!

Planned release is in time for Valentines day 2017!

Also, check out this article about female creators working in the pulps of the early 20th century.

Issue #6 Call for Submissions!

Hey all, its time for you to get out those typewriters, quill pens, and crayons (or whatever you create with) because Issue #6 of Two-Fisted Library Stories* is now accepting submissions!

What can you submit? Stories, comics, drawings, photographs, recipes, knitting patterns, phony letters, fake news items, bogus advertisements, made-up issue blurbs, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is somewhat library focused and at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, romance, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Plus, we need COVER ART! If you're interested in drawing the cover, please get in touch!

Deadline for issue #6 is September 30th!

We're aiming for a Halloween launch date for this issue, so if you have a scary, terrifying, or otherwise spooOOOOooooky idea, now's the time to work on it!

Send your submissions, questions, and general accolades to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

*"Weren't you called Two-Fisted Librarians?"
Yes, but we changed the name to be more inclusive of all library workers.

Issue #5 now available!

Issue #5 of Two-Fisted Librarians launched this past weekend at VanCAF! It's also now available on our Etsy store.

It features a super rad cover by Colleen Frakes, a comic by Annie Gaines, and stories by Ian Richardson, and me.

This also means that issue #4 is now available on Issuu!

Issue #5 Cover and Call for Submissions!

I am so excited, because above you can see the cover of Two-Fisted Librarians #5! It features art by Colleen Frakes (who recently released her graphic novel memoir Prison Island)!

Of course, we need more than just a cover to publish an issue, so we're asking you to send in submissions of stories, comics, recipes, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Deadline for the next issue is March 30th!

But what if you don't have the time or inclination to create a full submission? Well, lucky for you there are still ways to contribute! We're looking for phony letters, fake news items, and made-up issue blurbs. Just remember to keep them pretty brief. You can see examples from issue #4 below.

A few instructions:

• Keep your letters and news items brief.
• Don't complain about any real stories that have appeared.
• Letters that are filled with complaints are probably funnier.
• Feel free to ask questions to which you don't know the answer.
• You don't need to write editorial responses to your own letters, we've got that covered.
• If you're not sure what to write about, you can use information from this list of made up characters, stories, and more that have been referenced in previous issues.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about (because not everybody spends their lives reading old comic books), I'll link to a few examples.

• Captain American Letter Column (Let's Rap With Cap)
• Weird War Tales Letter Column
• Marvel Bullpen Bulletins
• DC Direct Currents
• DC Daily Planet

You might also find the Wikipedia entries on letter columns, Marvel No-Prize, Bullpen Bulletins, and Daily Planet useful.

So get creating!

Two-Fisted Librarians #3 on Issuu!

You can now read issue #3 of Two-Fisted Librarians on Issuu! Check it out! Then rate it on Good Reads!

Featuring Crime! Drama! Romance! Evil!

I Spent 17.5 Years in the Library for a Job I Did Not Want by Annie Gaines
I’ll Make an Archivist Out of You by Adena Brons
The Dewey Policy by Robert Perret
Be Careful When Shelving the Ancient Forbidden Evil by Colleen Frakes
The Librarians of Penzance by Matthew Murray
And more!

Two-Fisted Librarians #4 on Etsy!

We've added Two-Fisted Librarians #4 to Etsy, so now you can order it!

We've also updated the other listings, so it's easier for you to buy multiple issues. Check it out!

Two-Fisted Librarians #4

This past weekend I attended the Olympia Zine Fest in Olympia, Washington. It was lots of fun!

I had copies of issues 1-3 for sale, and people even bought some! Hurray! However, despite the presence of the poster in the above photo, I wasn't able to print issue #4 in time for the event.

But I did manage to print it for the Zine Librarian (un)Conference that happened on Monday! Hurray!

More details on where to find it soon.

Call for Submissions: Two-Fisted Librarians #4! Plus: Our Next Appearance!

Now that you've all had you chance to read the first three issues of Two-Fisted Librarians (either online or in print) it's time for you to submit to issue #4!

The deadline for issue #4 is SEPTEMBER 30th!

"What?! But that's so soon! Why?! How will I write/draw/knit my not very long story/recipe/drawing by then?"

Well, I can't tell you how you'll get it done by then (perhaps magic or some sort of futuristic technology? You are librarians; I'm sure you can find that sort of information somewhere), but I will tell you why!

Two-Fisted Librarians will be at the Olympia Zine Fest in Olympia, Washington, October 23rd-25th.

Yes indeed! We will be travelling by strange contraptions (buses) to far off (more than 65,000 rods distance away!), foreign (we're in Canada) lands that have never been visited (by us) in order to provide the thrilling librarian themed adventures that the public craves, and we'd love to have issue #4 completed by then.

So submit your felted 3D statues of librarians fighting monsters, your fumetti photo comics of the horror that is The Taxonomist, your pinup drawings of modestly dressed librarians, your epic sea shanties of pirate librarians on the high seas, your hastily rewritten Dungeons and Dragons adventure where you fought some orcs in a library, or whatever it is your potentially deranged mind can come up with. The chaos of astral libraries! The sadness of books that are never checked out! The ghost cat in the library! Send them to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com by September 30th!

All contributors will get a copy of the issue in which they're published, a "Two-Fisted Librarian" button unavailable anywhere else, and the amazing feeling of actually creating something!

Don't feel like you can create something? (You're wrong, but okay!) Why not trawl through old comic book covers and send us some that could be repurposed for the cover to our issue.

Issue #3 on Etsy!

Amazing! Fantastic! Uncanny! Only a month after issue #3 made its debut at the ALA conference, you can now purchase your own copy on our Etsy store!

Let us know if you have any questions!

Two-Fisted Librarians #2 on Issuu!

So you might have heard that Two Fisted Librarians #3 was available at the ALA conference in San Francisco a few weeks ago. It was! However, if you want to get your own copy you'll have to wait just a little bit longer.

To tide you over until then I've put the second issue on Issuu!

Here's the list of contents:
Reports from the South Bay Post by Adena Brons
The Informinatrix vs. The Book Thief by Irina Jevlakova
Submersion by Ean Henninger
How to Steal a Book in 1930s Chicago by Matthew Murray