Spicy Library Stories Call for Submissions

Love! Romance! Adventure!

As mentioned in the newest episode of the Book Club for Masochists podcast our next publication (after Two-Fisted Library Stories #6) will be Spicy Library Stories!

The deadline is December 31st. Send submissions to twofistedstories@gmail.com.

What do we mean by "spicy"?

Well in the tradition of Spicy Zeppelin Stories and other titles we're looking for the best in library focused fiction that features not just the daring adventure tales we're so well known for, but is also a little bit risqué or saucy. This doesn't mean that you need to create full blown erotic tales (though we'll accept those too), but place just a little bit more emphasis on the...attractiveness of the featured characters. That means love, romance, and scantily dressed men, women, and people of other genders having their clothes ripped off.

We want tales full of forbidden love, seduction, star-crossed lovers, romantic tension, mysterious pasts, makeovers, love triangles, and purple prose.

We want bodice-ripping, paranormal events, time travel, historical settings, suspense, fantasy, BDSM, and everything else (maybe in one story!).

We want stories that involve lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, queer, and polyamorous characters. (And anything else we forgot.)

We want lascivious stories about tempters and temptresses, femmes and hommes fatales, dudes and dames in distress, bombshells, rakes, vamps, cads, seducers, vixens,  and everyone else.

Just remember that it has to feature library workers prominently in some way.

It can be as chaste or raunchy as you want, and if you'd really just rather not, you can still submit and we'll publish it in the next issue of Two-Fisted Library Stories!

If you're looking to contribute art for the cover or interior think of the classic "good girl" pin-up art, except that we want pin ups of people of all gender identities!

We're also totally happy to let people use pseudonyms, sobriquets, aliases, and noms de plume if you would prefer for your true identity to remain secret. Not even we need to know what your real name is!

Planned release is in time for Valentines day 2017!

Also, check out this article about female creators working in the pulps of the early 20th century.

Issue #6 Call for Submissions!

Hey all, its time for you to get out those typewriters, quill pens, and crayons (or whatever you create with) because Issue #6 of Two-Fisted Library Stories* is now accepting submissions!

What can you submit? Stories, comics, drawings, photographs, recipes, knitting patterns, phony letters, fake news items, bogus advertisements, made-up issue blurbs, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is somewhat library focused and at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, romance, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Plus, we need COVER ART! If you're interested in drawing the cover, please get in touch!

Deadline for issue #6 is September 30th!

We're aiming for a Halloween launch date for this issue, so if you have a scary, terrifying, or otherwise spooOOOOooooky idea, now's the time to work on it!

Send your submissions, questions, and general accolades to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

*"Weren't you called Two-Fisted Librarians?"
Yes, but we changed the name to be more inclusive of all library workers.

Issue #5 Cover and Call for Submissions!

I am so excited, because above you can see the cover of Two-Fisted Librarians #5! It features art by Colleen Frakes (who recently released her graphic novel memoir Prison Island)!

Of course, we need more than just a cover to publish an issue, so we're asking you to send in submissions of stories, comics, recipes, and whatever else you can think of as long as it contains LIBRARY ACTION. Stories can be about librarians, library technicians, library cats, sentient libraries, etc. As long as your contribution is at least a little bit pulpy (mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc.) it's fine! (This TV tropes page on Two-Fisted Tales might help give you some direction.)

Deadline for the next issue is March 30th!

But what if you don't have the time or inclination to create a full submission? Well, lucky for you there are still ways to contribute! We're looking for phony letters, fake news items, and made-up issue blurbs. Just remember to keep them pretty brief. You can see examples from issue #4 below.

A few instructions:

• Keep your letters and news items brief.
• Don't complain about any real stories that have appeared.
• Letters that are filled with complaints are probably funnier.
• Feel free to ask questions to which you don't know the answer.
• You don't need to write editorial responses to your own letters, we've got that covered.
• If you're not sure what to write about, you can use information from this list of made up characters, stories, and more that have been referenced in previous issues.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about (because not everybody spends their lives reading old comic books), I'll link to a few examples.

• Captain American Letter Column (Let's Rap With Cap)
• Weird War Tales Letter Column
• Marvel Bullpen Bulletins
• DC Direct Currents
• DC Daily Planet

You might also find the Wikipedia entries on letter columns, Marvel No-Prize, Bullpen Bulletins, and Daily Planet useful.

So get creating!

Call for Submissions: Two-Fisted Librarians #4! Plus: Our Next Appearance!

Now that you've all had you chance to read the first three issues of Two-Fisted Librarians (either online or in print) it's time for you to submit to issue #4!

The deadline for issue #4 is SEPTEMBER 30th!

"What?! But that's so soon! Why?! How will I write/draw/knit my not very long story/recipe/drawing by then?"

Well, I can't tell you how you'll get it done by then (perhaps magic or some sort of futuristic technology? You are librarians; I'm sure you can find that sort of information somewhere), but I will tell you why!

Two-Fisted Librarians will be at the Olympia Zine Fest in Olympia, Washington, October 23rd-25th.

Yes indeed! We will be travelling by strange contraptions (buses) to far off (more than 65,000 rods distance away!), foreign (we're in Canada) lands that have never been visited (by us) in order to provide the thrilling librarian themed adventures that the public craves, and we'd love to have issue #4 completed by then.

So submit your felted 3D statues of librarians fighting monsters, your fumetti photo comics of the horror that is The Taxonomist, your pinup drawings of modestly dressed librarians, your epic sea shanties of pirate librarians on the high seas, your hastily rewritten Dungeons and Dragons adventure where you fought some orcs in a library, or whatever it is your potentially deranged mind can come up with. The chaos of astral libraries! The sadness of books that are never checked out! The ghost cat in the library! Send them to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com by September 30th!

All contributors will get a copy of the issue in which they're published, a "Two-Fisted Librarian" button unavailable anywhere else, and the amazing feeling of actually creating something!

Don't feel like you can create something? (You're wrong, but okay!) Why not trawl through old comic book covers and send us some that could be repurposed for the cover to our issue.

Still time to submit to issue #2!

The deadline for submissions for issue #2 of Two Fisted Librarians is DECEMBER 31ST! You've still got lots of time to write about a shark who is also a librarian, draw a picture of the library that time forgot, or create a cataloguing method that drives people mad!

Send your submissions, questions, and awesome links to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

Sell Outs and Deadline Updates

We've sold out! Or rather, Quimby's Bookstore in Chicago has sold out of their copies of Two Fisted Librarians #1! However, they've asked for some more (double their initial order!), and they'll soon be arriving on store shelves.

In other news we've been so incredibly overwhelmed with school that even if we got everyone's submissions by Halloween, there is no possible way we'd be able to put the zine together any time soon. So the deadline for submissions has now been extended to DECEMBER 31ST! Yes! You get two additional months to get your contributions in, and we'll hopefully have a launch party at some point in January.

Send your submissions, questions, and awesome links to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

Call for Submissions: Two Fisted Librarians #2!

Now that we've had our official zine launch in Vancouver (photos soon to come!), it's time to open up submissions for the second issue of Two Fisted Librarians!

Issue 2 Deadline: October December 31st! 

Yes, the deadline for the second issue of Two Fisted Librarians is one of my favourite days of the year, Halloween! That means you've got almost two months to create something for the next issue of Two Fisted Librarians! (So get started now!)

Not sure what to create? Well, here's some helpful information!

What is Two Fisted Librarians?
A collection of pulp-inspired fiction, comics, and art created by you (hopefully!) concerning libraries and librarians.

What is pulp fiction?
Stories that fondly recall the pulp magazines of the '20s, '30s, and '40s, and comics of the '40s and '50s. Mad science, weird fantasy, occult horror, spicy mysteries, noirish romances, thrilling adventures, and whatever else. Want to write about a library that uses steampunk technology, a cataloguing system so obtuse that it drives those that try to use it insane, or a librarian who has to track down a Nazi zeppelin in order to get an overdue book? Go for it!

Still looking for ideas? The Thrilling Adventure Hour or the TV Tropes page for Two Fisted Tales  might be of help.

What is a zine?
A self published, usually photocopied magazine that contains everything from recipes, to travelogues, to thrilling adventure fiction. 

What can I submit to Two Fisted Librarians?
Fiction, comics, illustrations, fake journalistic articles, whatever you want really! Just don't make it too long, and remember that this will be published in a half sized zine, so please format your artwork for 5.5" x 8.5" paper (ie. half a standard North American sheet).

How do I submit? 
Send your submissions, questions, and awesome links to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

I can't wait to see what you create!

Deadline Extension and Zine Availability FAQ

Can I have a deadline extension?

Okay, so we've gotten some great content already, but we also have some people who have asked for deadline extensions. After checking our schedules we've decided that we will be able to extend the deadline to May 15th.

If you've already submitted you can continue to tinker with your piece and resubmit it, but whatever we have by May 15th is what's going in the zine.

Also, please submit a bio with your contribution. This can contain pretty much whatever you want, but should include the name you want printed with the story. Other info could include email, Twitter, or website addresses, where you work or go to school, and how awesome you are.

Remember to send your submissions and bios to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

How long should my submission be?

We don't have any strict guidelines for length, but try not to make it too long. If we feel your story is too long we will ask you to try to shorten its length.

Remember that this is going to be a half size (5 1/2" x 8 1/2", the size of a sheet of paper folded in half), so if you're creating artwork try to format it for that size.

How short can my submission be?

As short as you want! If you want to create something that's less than a page long, that's totally fine!

Where will I be able to get the zine?

So far there are three events where you'll be able to get a copy of Two Fisted Librarians.

June 27th - July 2nd The Zine Pavilion at the ALA (American Library Association) Conference in Chicago, Illinois.

July 13th - 14th The Iowa City Zine Librarian (un)Conference in Iowa City, Iowa.

August 10th - 11th The Portland Zine Symposium in Portland, Oregon.

We're open to attending other events, so if you think there's one we should go to let us know and we'll see if we can make it!

The zine will also be available to order online at some point later in the summer, we'll let you know when we have more details.

Do you have any other questions? Please send them to twofistedlibrarians@gmail.com.

Deadline Reminder

Remember that the deadline to submit to Two Fisted Librarians is April 30th, that's just three weeks away! Of course you still have plenty of time to write or draw something spectacular for the zine (and now there are no classes getting in the way of your creative endeavours!).

Just hearing from contributors about what they're working on is enough to make us want to be able to read their stories now! Clockwork octopus, laser beam battles, dinosaurs? We have no idea how these things might relate to librarians but we're confident in your ability to deliver the goods in regards to awesome pulp genre fiction.

If you're having trouble figuring out what to write we've been brainstorming some possible titles, here's a selection of some of the better ones.

666: The Call Number of the Beast
Infomagic Overload
Tales from the Stacks
Catalogic Failure
Shelf Harm
Referenemies Desk
Readers Adversary Group
Subject Terminal Velocity
Sinister Indexter
Indices Exposure
Libraryinth
Full Metal Book Jacket
The Black RDAhlia
The ReFEARance Question
Terror on Database Station One

If you want to use one of these titles, go for it! (Though maybe shoot us an email first so we don't end up with 12 stories called "Shelf Harm".) But we're sure you can come up with titles that are even better!

Now it's time to get back to writing! And remember to tell your friends!